Dear Man Who Beat Up a "Vampire" Peacock in a NYC Burger King Parking Lot,

From CNN.com http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/01/vampire.peacock.ap/index.html

Hello Man Who Beat Up a "Vampire" Peacock in a NYC Burger King Parking Lot,

Above, you will see two pictures. One is a vampire (kind of). The other is of a peacock, a tropical bird. I don't know if it was drugs, lack of sleep, a Sci-Fi Channel Marathon or a combination of any of the three, but WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

First of all, what the hell is a peacock doing in a Burger King parking lot in New York Fucking City??? Second of all, why attack it? Third, how the hell does a peacock resemble a VAMPIRE? Peacocks are small colorful birds with huge ass tails. Vampires are undead creatures of the night who must consume human blood to survive and sleep in coffins. I don't see the connection.

But then again, I've never done acid. That must be it. An acid trip gone, as they so often do, awry. That's why you went to a Burger King in the first place, then saw people feeding a peacock, and thought "OH SHIT! VAMPIRE ATTACKER! MUST KILL" and beat it to a pulp.

The only part of this story that you showed some sense in is that once the New York's Finest showed up, you ran like bloody hell. And for that, I saw thank you from the bottom of my pointy, little black heart.

Cause the LAST thing this country needs is a Law and Order: SVU episode based from this incident.

Cause peacocks aren't special victims. Now if you, for example, beat this special creature to death, then, my friend, we have good SVU material. And no, it's not a Photoshop job...


Love,

Me