With all that’s been happening in the news recently, it’s looking more and more like the world will come to an end, the shit will hit the fan, or the Russians are just going to to and try and take over everything. For those of you that aren’t news junkies, a primer in current events that is easy to understand...
“The Russians flew out to Guam in bombers like they did during the Cold War, waved, and went home for no shit reason”
What this means for your weekend: Get ready for Cold War, Part Deux.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/09/russia.sorties.reut/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
“Pakistani President thinks about calling a State of Emergency, then doesn’t”
What this means for your weekend: The US backs unscrupulous power-hungry leaders... but what else is new?
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/08/08/pakistan.emergency.ap/index.html#cnnSTCText
“Heat wave makes the South hotter and smellier than usual”
What this means for your weekend: Global warming is real people, get the fuck used to it.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601086&sid=aqDBK7WcnE3Q&refer=latin_america
“US stock market looses billions of dollars cause of shady lending practices and fucks with the world economy”
What this means for your weekend: Don’t buy big houses that you can’t afford. Also, lobby for mandatory finance classes at your local high school so that this shit doesn’t happen. Or just remember that banks are evil and there is not such thing as free money.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/BUSINESS/08/09/bnp.funds.reut/index.html
“China thinks about fucking with us cause we’re mad at them for making shitty stuff”
What this means for your weekend: China won’t be our bitch anymore. Don’t fuck with the people that make your shit, has a bigger army, and holds trillions of dollars in US Treasury bonds and liquid currency reserves in their banks. If you don’t know what that means, Wikipedia it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/main.jhtml?xml=/money/2007/08/07/bcnchina107a.xml
“Fewer hurricanes in 2007”
What this means for your weekend: That’s bullshit. Murphy’s Law people, come on. Besides, didn’t you learn not to trust these people during the Katrina mess???
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/US/08/09/hurricanes.outlook.ap/index.html
“The Russians flew out to Guam in bombers like they did during the Cold War, waved, and went home for no shit reason”
What this means for your weekend: Get ready for Cold War, Part Deux.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/09/russia.sorties.reut/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
“Pakistani President thinks about calling a State of Emergency, then doesn’t”
What this means for your weekend: The US backs unscrupulous power-hungry leaders... but what else is new?
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/08/08/pakistan.emergency.ap/index.html#cnnSTCText
“Heat wave makes the South hotter and smellier than usual”
What this means for your weekend: Global warming is real people, get the fuck used to it.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601086&sid=aqDBK7WcnE3Q&refer=latin_america
“US stock market looses billions of dollars cause of shady lending practices and fucks with the world economy”
What this means for your weekend: Don’t buy big houses that you can’t afford. Also, lobby for mandatory finance classes at your local high school so that this shit doesn’t happen. Or just remember that banks are evil and there is not such thing as free money.
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/BUSINESS/08/09/bnp.funds.reut/index.html
“China thinks about fucking with us cause we’re mad at them for making shitty stuff”
What this means for your weekend: China won’t be our bitch anymore. Don’t fuck with the people that make your shit, has a bigger army, and holds trillions of dollars in US Treasury bonds and liquid currency reserves in their banks. If you don’t know what that means, Wikipedia it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/main.jhtml?xml=/money/2007/08/07/bcnchina107a.xml
“Fewer hurricanes in 2007”
What this means for your weekend: That’s bullshit. Murphy’s Law people, come on. Besides, didn’t you learn not to trust these people during the Katrina mess???
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/US/08/09/hurricanes.outlook.ap/index.html
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